Boredom Holidays

I was one of the blessed few in my MBA class who had a vacation before the job began. Given the grind of MBA, there was a need for a break. However, MBA also had prepared us for a constant rigour. I had a niggle in my mind that I might rust if rested beyond need. I was once sharing this concern with my friend when she casually mentioned that I should blog on this. This was just the push I needed. I read in Edward de Bono's book that holidays make sense only when they last long enough and end up boring you! Quite a paradoxical thought!

But think deeply. We do go on holidays because we wish to escape the mundane daily work. But more often than not, we plan such packed schedule holidays, that they end up being hectic. So, after the holiday, we need another break to recover. Isnt this a paradox?

So, now lets try to make sense of what Bono is trying to say. Imagine you are pushed into an idyllic island. Beautiful scenery, lovely weather, good food, wonderful people to chat with. No restrictions on time. But nothing else to do. No hurry to catch the sunset, no haste to run between landmarks. Total paradise! Isnt it?

But how long? Within a few days, we would get bored. And then, we would want to get back to work. That truly is the aim of vacation. We must return from the vacation energised & refreshed. So, we need holidays that induce slight boredom in us. Then only, will we feel bored enough of holidays to get back to work. Use boredom to kill boredom. Another paradox!

Learning from the event:

Boredom is one of the powerful tools to disengage and reengage the mind. Though it is disdained, if it is used smartly, one can achieve superior results in performance.

The root point is that we need balance in whatever we do. The moment we stretch 'doing' to 'indulging', there is an entry point for boredom. And then we need another boredom to kill it. This is true even in the case of recreational activities.

Tough discipline to adhere to balance is the only way out. Variety lends balance. Use it.

Lessons from the Weekend movie

Also posted on strat.in

With the movie multiplexes embroiled in disputes, the common man was getting increasingly frustrated with the lack of Friday evening surprises. So, when the curtains were drawn on the collections argument, there was an expectant flow of bottled movies on the Box Office. One of them was the much hyped ‘ Kambakht Ishq’. Last weekend, my room mates dragged me to watch this movie. From the trailers, it was clear that the movie was not the worth my hard earned buck, yet, for lack of options, I dragged along.

When we reached the theatre, I was amazed at the crowd pouring in. Ticket rates in black or grey had touched the skies. People were paying as if it was an Oscar nominated movie. Amused I entered the hall, only to be greeted with loud cheer, whistles as Akki performed one of his stunts. People sure were starved of action. We did not have to wait long for the whistles to get shriller as shortly Bebo stomped onto the screen. The movie made no sense, but people were enjoying it- laughing their heads off at the one liners, cheering the stunts and gaping at ‘you know who’.

Though a little irked at my thoughtlessness, I settled in sometime and joined in the fun. I must say when I let go expectation of sensibility, the fun seemed to be much more.

The movie is meant to make no sense. So, when one watches it, one should watch it with no sense. As my roomie told me in the interval, when you watch such movies, keep your brains at home- give them rest. Just laugh heartily and enjoy the popcorn. That is your money’s worth. Still, as I walked home that night, I thought of a few takeaways from the movie.

Disclaimer: This emanated after watching the movie. So, kindly deem it accordingly.

The horse will always get the mare

They say that when you want something strongly the whole universe conspires to get it for you. One thing is for sure, Bollywood movies adhere to this principle very strictly. Whatever the plot, however stupid the way, the stallion in the movie gets to the beautiful mare in the end. It may defy logic, but it will never defy Bollywood scripts. Edward de Bono – the founder of the word – lateral thinking- will forever be proud of the ingenious ways in which the directors get the stallions to meet the mares.

So the lesson - Life has miraculous ways of going ahead. Trust it and keep doing your job.

Jugaad

It is called by different names in different parts of India. But they all mean the same. When you cannot get it the normal way, use tricks, but get it done. Bollywood movies are fraught with such tricks in the trade. In fact, there are several cases where real imitates reel to show the powerful impact of jugaad.

Life is never a straight road. It will always have traffic jams and potholes. So, find out the service roads, shortcuts and detours. Do not try crook if hook does not work. But never stop trying the right way.

The lesson is – Do not give up in life. There are ways of reaching the same hilltop- some are steep and short, some are long and winding.

When you are at the top, there are enough people to pull down your pants; so dont let them down yourself..

Bollywood is a mirage. What you see now disappears when you look at it again later. Often, we see a string of successes at the Box office and then the vanity of the actors. Actors begin to feel they are above everything and commit stupid acts. Media needs the slightest hint to flare simple issues and then the ball of success goes down the wrong track.

Lesson: Chase success, but never let it go to your head. Remember to keep it in place.

Nonsense to make sense

You realize somebody’s worth only when they are gone. Only when you suffocate, do you realize the presence and significance of air around us. Similarly, one needs to indulge in some harmless nonsense to appreciate the importance of sense. Day in and day out, we are paraded in the tracks of sense. Take some time out to let go off sense. You will appreciate it better the next time you need it. It is a paradox, but life is full of them any way, isn’t it?

The lesson is: Watch some Bollywood movies once in a while. Let go off your minds and enjoy it.

Men and Women: Logic and Intuition

Event and Learning from the event :

 

Lately, I have been reading Edward De Bono’s ‘ not-so-famous books – ‘Thinking for the new millenium’, Simplicity  and etall. The amazing thing about his literature is the lucidity and profundity of the topics he touches upon. Besides, reading his books leaves one befuddled about the ways we human brains handle routine work.

One of the interesting things I read in his book was the possible reasons on why men are from Mars and Women from Venus. The premise of his argument for ‘why men seem to be more logical and women more intuitive’ is based on the foundation of logic. He says that “Logic is more of a communication mechanism than a design mechanism.”  Men were traditionally pushed towards hunting – that is getting food for the family. Hunting for games was always a team effort and to align the team towards a target and an approach, one had to ensure that the all were in sync with the plan. So, communicating the way of attack required a solid basis and this basis was the birthstone of logic. Similarly, women were traditionally coerced to tend to homes – cooking food and raising children. Both these activities are more judgemental rather than logical. Therefore, women relied more on intuition than logic.

Coming to think of it, as civilizations built up, men and women got slotted into tighter moulds of work and this imbibed in the sexes a strong sense of identification – an identification appropriated more by work than capability. The middle ages were particularly harsh in this aspect. It was only in the industrial age and now more so in the knowledge economy, that we are seeing breaking of glass ceilings for both the sexes.

Observe any animal species – tiniest to the largest – you shall observe that no such slotting exists in Nature. Except child care – which in some cases is shared by both sexes – both the sexes are capable of attack and nurture, fight and flight. In fact, in some cases, the females are more capable and dangerous than the males – to the extent that they kill the male species after consummation. Perhaps that was the inspiration behind Rudyard Kipling writing ‘Female of the species is deadlier than the male’.

So, when we began to evolve, from apes, we must have been equals as men and women. But generations of brain drill has imbibed certain attributes in the chromosomes and so, now we are tempted to stereotype men and women. ‘Nurture is deeper than nature’.

To quote a few examples – A common myth is that women are compulsive and complex shoppers. Look around you and I am sure you can find men who fit the same mould. They say ‘women are great at cooking’. Cooking is quite an art. Can u recollect famous women chefs? More men than women in that department.  Look at the number of women breaking the men bastion of CEOs now. In fact, there is rising momentum for women to fill these C jobs now.

The takeaway is that as men and women we have certain genetic tendencies. However, if one nurtures one’s intuition and logic through practice, then such stereotypes can be overcome. There are umpteen examples of men and women who have broken these barriers.

This is a necessity in today’s world. The path ahead is spiral –neither linear nor circular. It is fuzzy – not logical. Analytical skills will need to be merged with creative skills to forge the path into the new millennium. In short, man or woman, we need to harness both our perceptive and analytical skills. That is rewrite the genetic code of several years. A sort of Genetic Renaissance.

Selfish or selfless?

These are random events that transpired within me the quest to find out whether selflessness is existent within us. Or do we just label some acts as selfless to cover our inability to reason with our emotions?

Event 1:

 Except the song ‘Haule Haule’, there was nothing too interesting about the trailer ‘ Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi’. Still, out of peer pressure, I watched the movie. The critics ripped the movie apart. I got the message that the movie had to deliver.

“ Love someone like you would pray to your God. You see God in your loved ones and so you love them unconditionally.”

Event 2:

Read somewhere sometime back:

“ One has to be selfish to be selfless”

Event 3:

I have a friend who has become a victim of ‘Tere Naamosis’. In short, he madly loves a girl without her even caring to acknowledge. This pains him tremendously. Yet he continues to care for her. This leaves us terribly confused and frustrated.

Event 4:

One of my friends had this tagline for sometime

”Those who are sensible about love are incapable of it”

It implies if you are very calculative about loving someone, then you are not really capable of loving someone. The reason being love is like a flowing river, it knows no constraints.

 

 

 

 

Learning from the event:

 

The core theme of the movie  ‘Rab Ne..” is that love is analogous to Worship of God. One sees the Lord in someone and so one loves the other just as one would blindly worship God. But why does one really worship God? It gives peace, satisfaction, focus, determination and strength. So, in a way, Worship is a selfish act. To love someone as one would worship is thus an act that leads to internal satisfaction. Whether the target of affection is one who really appreciates the love is another matter, but loving someone like one would love God, is ultimately a selfish action.

The quote “To be Selfless, one has to be selfish” reeks of the same ideology. Hoarding resources at one place to give the same, away to our loved ones is a self effacing act on the outset, but dig deeper and you shall be surprised to see streaks of selfishness emerging. At the end of it, it is your selfish happiness for which you are practicing such acts. It is commendable that your happiness is derived by seeing others happy, but at the end, it is your happiness for which all this happens.

To summarize then, an act of selflessness is , at the bottom of it, really an act of selfishness. That the selfishness is resulting into to someone else’s happiness is not a qualifying factor for selflessness. When one does an action and expects nothing out of it, not even happiness, then one becomes truly selfless. This is, however, in most cases, tantamount to insanity. So, rationally thinking, selflessness is too high an evolved state for us humans.

Take the case of my friend. He has resigned to the fact that the lady he loved is not interested in him. But he still madly cared and loved her. A classic case of ‘ Tere Naam’. Though he has accepted her denial, his actions do not show that. Every time he thinks of her, he feels the pangs. Sometimes I wonder whether he loves her or the pain of the pangs! This attitude causes great discomfort to us- his near and dear friends.

Is he being selfless in his love or selfish in holding on?

So, can we subtly disprove that ‘Those who are sensible of love are not capable of it’.

Why not choose someone who understands your love and then shower love on them rather than waste it? It is sensible, but less painful. In this process, let us be careful not to hurt anyone or use anyone as a crutch. If the ultimate aim of love is to feel good for oneself, why not choose the person whom to love , a little more sensibly?

At the end, we are selfish, so why not be selfish enough to be loving to our own self?

 

Gods and Humans

It had been drilling my mind for a long time now. I had been observing and thinking, but somehow never reached a satisfactory conclusion. The questions kept increasing and the frequency just kept going up as the world was getting destroyed by incessant terrorism.

Why did humans believe blindly in God? So blindly, that anything that remotely resembled God was elevated much higher than its deserved stature. Why did God never interfere to stop this carnage?

Event 1: I was paying visit to one of the wealthiest temples in India. We were all patiently awaiting our chance for the ‘ Darshan’. It had been some 4 hours in that caged queue and people had been chanting God’s names to keep the boredom away. Some of them had begun to get crazy as the chants got louder and faster. It felt as if they were entering a trance. Suddenly, one of the devotees started rotating about himself in an uncontrollable manner and people started getting scared. One of the men suddenly fell at his feet and offered his prayers. In no time, all the people in the queue fell at his feet and the entire queue got broken and this new God surpassed the awe of the original for whom these devotees had travelled far and wide. I somehow kept myself composed and escaped the scene unscathed but deeply influenced.

Event 2 : The terrorist strikes at the very heart and soul of Mumbai had left all shaken, scared and frustrated. Why had God forsaken humanity? How could He watch all this mayhem with no reaction? All of us prayed hard and practiced good deeds. Then how come had this world plunged into a blood bath so easily?

It was utterly disturbing to witness that at one end, lives were being killed in the name of God and at the other end, they were being saved in the name of the same God.

One of my uncles had visited our home and in the ensuing discussion, we broached this topic. He shared some profound views which I must thank him for. It cleared the haze and to some extent, quietened the fire within.

 

Learning from the event:

 

Why do we pray to God? What do we really do when we pray to God?

As children we are taught Ramayana and Mahabharata stories that drill into us the God-fearing attitude. We begin to believe, perceive and therefore conceive our world in that aspect.

When we pray to God, we really repeat what we want. We reiterate what we aim at and ask for strength and wisdom ( ideally !!). We deposit our faith at one place and derive satisfaction from that. This calms us and refocuses our energies at what we want. It is thus a practice to concentrate our efforts and not let them wander. The conditioned mind directs our capability and we achieve our goals.  But as we are conditioned to believe, we attribute it to God.

Sages pray for attaining spiritual heights. They are blessed with it. Even the Asuras pray to Lord Shiva for powers. He blesses them. Why? To destroy the World?

So, if you wish for something and you deserve it through hard work, talent and timing, it shall be given you. Of course, there is luck involved, but let us for a moment, attribute that to our earlier karmas.

Terrorists call for jihad in the name of God. They are brainwashed to believe that God needs them to kill innocent humans to attain Jannat.  They are taught like that.

Civilians believe that God has given a beautiful life, live it fully and let others also live it fully. They are taught like that.

We created God. It was an idea to unite people and instill fear in them to prevent them from slipping into wrong activities. The idea was noble. Somewhere the message was not communicated properly. We split Him into a thousand forms, created thousand sects.

Survival requires food and food needs land. Thousand sects need thousand Lands. But there is only one Earth. Greed calls for wars and wars are fought in the name of God. Wars leave scars and scars run through generations. Revenge blinds the eye and the whole world slowly goes blind. When all are blind, suddenly there are not thousand Gods, but there is only one God. Realisation dawns – we are all the same. But scars are deep, they have inflicted the mind not just the body. When one is blind, how can one see oneself in others. One just goes shooting and killing anything that moves. The phase of destruction begins.

It is not God who is to come down to save us. It is we, who have to do something about this menace we created. The very institutions that spread faith should own up and ensure that the right message goes into the new generation. Stop the filth of faith. Invigorate the new generation with the right messages from Ramayana, Bible or Quran. There is moral they carry, teach that moral – not the blind awe.

In the name of God, we created. In the name of God we destroyed. In the name of same God, let us resurrect.

Trapped in the wrong place….

One of my closest childhood buddies recently interned in a firm in Bangalore. He loved the city. One of the most endearing aspects for him was the age the city seemed to live with. Almost 8 out of 10 were youngsters – so young that it felt that he, all of just 26, was much older to them. The city was always bubbling with vigor and creativity. The average fashion sense was pretty high compared to the city he had just landed from. It gave him a complex, but nevertheless he thoroughly enjoyed the ambience.

This was the feel in the malls, pubs, restaurants and streets. In the offices however, the ambience was pretty confusing. The same vigor and creativity was conspicuously missing at workplace. There was a tinge of dullness, boredom, at times even frustration that crept in the corporate corridors. He was even told that this city perhaps has the highest levels of frustration. The same crowd that partied fervently lacked the spark at the work desks. There were a few oases of joy, but they were few and far apart in this desert of human expressions.

He thought long and hard at this discrepancy. His insights lent me some memorable discussions when we met last week.

Learning from the event:

Coincidently, I had made similar observations, though they were in a different city. I had come to conclude that they were, as an advertisement of a popular job agency calls it: Caught in the wrong job! 

Most of the office goers never know what they actually want, what they actually can get and what they actually get. They seem to run on a conveyor belt day in and day out. When they realize that it is repeating over the same stretch, they jump; but onto another conveyor belt. They need to actually get onto an elevator. This is the mental discrepancy that leads to the attitude discrepancy.

What we need to do is to identify what job matches our ability, capacity and attitude. Sometimes, only two of the above three match with the job we do. Then we need to find a way – a hobby, part time job that feeds the missing link. That way our hearts are fulfilled and the conscience is quietened. Otherwise the noise it creates disharmonises our lives and we become what my friend called zombies at workplace.

Nobody ever gets the job one truly loves. It is about finding a way to love it and then do something outside the workplace that helps us love it. Its just like marriage. They are not made for each other. They keep finding ways to love each other.

Professional Hazards

Ram and Raghunandan were roomies in the city of Hyderabad. They had rented a flat in HiTech city and had been staying there for 2 years now. Ram was an Engineer and loved the systems approach to life. For him, plans were a defacto need. It may be simple, yet there must be a process to do it – however strenuous it may be. Raghunandan was a CA and believed that money was the core of all activities. He was not a greedy fellow, but for him every penny spent had to be accounted for and that too for a good reason. Logic came a close second to money for him.

Whenever purchases had to be made, Ram had a plan to do so. Raghunandan had an account to be looked at. Often Ram’s structured approach was too costly for Raghunandan’s accounts and the house reverberated with arguments.

Enter – Raghavan – freshly minted MBA from a premier college in India. He joined the two argumentative youths. True to his profession, he did an RCA ( Root Cause Analysis ) of the situation and came up with an optimized solution. Both the roomies were happy with the new guy. Life seemed to have been resolved; atleast for sometime; not after Raghavan started delving into strategy. Fresh with courses in management, he came up with radical ideas that looked alluring but shook some of the simple ways that the two roomies had come to live with. As a pilot, those ideas were used and the novelty amazed them. By that time, Raghavan had made his way back to home. Cracks started showing and the novelty gave way to flaws and the new plan fell apart. The two roomies rued their luck for falling prey to the charms of the MBA and getting tempted into new, yet impractical plans. Sometimes, strategy seems simple, execution however requires grappling with reality.

Learning from the event :  

Every profession colours the thinking of an individual. Some colours fit the canvas of life, some don’t. But at the end of the day, that individual has to survive, thrive and be happy. It requires one to flex oneself outside the box. Often, there is a need to remove the box itself.  Each professional is conditioned to think as per the axioms, principles of the stream. It is not wrong, but is it suitable for life-which has its own laws?

So, basically it is an issue of attitude and that actually has no real fixation with the profession. Take the example of successful entrepreneurs – they follow the rules of life and business. They pick up the good things from others and so, they know what matters to whom, when and why. They are not straitjacketed into a mode of thinking that befits their profession. Of course, they can multiplex across various modes of thinking and that I believe is the real reason for their success. Flexibility and adaptability are the two core principles of life. If one has those, then no change - however tumultuous it be  - can wreck havoc in one’s life.

Constant learning is the name of the game. After all, the real purpose of education is to light the fire of learning and keep it burning.